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1 2012, Vol. 20, No. 7, Advances in Psychological Science DOI: /SP.J 因满足而幸福 : 婚姻期待研究回顾与展望 (, ) 婚姻期待指在婚姻关系中, 个体对配偶和关系本身所期望达到并认为可以达到的标准婚姻期待的满足程度影响婚姻质量评价和婚姻满意度, 但受到期待弹性夫妻沟通及归因风格等因素的调节个体应对婚姻期待受挫的方式包括改变对方以及对现实进行理想化歪曲等未来可从开发适用于中国文化的测量工具深化影响婚姻期待的家庭因素研究探索婚姻期待受挫的其它应对方式及开展婚姻期待的夫妻匹配研究等方向进行考察婚姻期待 ; 婚姻期待受挫 ; 择偶偏好 ; 婚姻质量 ; 婚姻满意度 B849:C91 1 引言 (expectation),,, (marital expectation),,, (Sullivan & Schwebel, 1995; Epstein, Baucom, & LaTillade, 2006) 2 概念 2.1 婚姻期待的界定 (desirable) (should) (Dunn, 1960), : :, xthuang@swu. edu. cn,, (outcomes) (Sabatelli & Pearce, 1986), 2.2 婚姻标准与婚姻理想, Epstein Baucom (marital standard),, (should be),, (Epstein et al., 2006) Fletcher Simpson (Marital Ideal), (Ideal Standard Model) (Fletcher, Simpson & Thomas, 2000),,,, 1098

2 7 : ) 2) 3) 4), (idealistic), (realistic), (Ruvolo & Veroff, 1997),,,,, 3 婚姻期待的测量 3.1 社会角色理论角度 Dunn (Marital Role Expectation Inventory, MREI), 71, 7 (Dunn, 1960; Botkin, Weeks, & Morris, 2000; O Leary, 2000), Kelly-Tharp (Marital Role Questionnaire, MRQ), ( ) ( ) (Jacob, Kornblith, Anderson, & Hartz, 1978) 3.2 社会交换理论角度 Sabatelli Pearce (The Expectation Level Index, ELI) 32,, 0 100,, 0.84 (Sabatelli & Pearce, 1986) 3.3 社会认知角度, Baucom Epstein (Inventory of General Relationship Standard, IGRS) 80, 11 Baucom (Epstein, Chen, & Beyder-Kamjou, 2005) Fletcher Simpson ( ),, 3 - (6 ) - (6 ) - (5 ); (6 ) (6 ), 0.79 (Fletcher et al., 2000), 3.4 其他测量工具, Locke-Wallace (Marriage Adjustment Test, MAT),, (Sandhya, 2009), McNulty Karney, 3 ; (McNulty & Karney, 2004) (unrealistic) (Foran & Slep, 2007)

3 (Knobloch-Fedders & Knudson, 2009),,, MREI ELI, McNulty Karney Tharp MRQ Fletcher Simpson Baucom Epstein (Juvva & Bhatti, 2006) 4 婚姻期待的影响因素 (Cherlin, 2009) 4.1 个体因素 Sabatelli Pearce,,,,, (Sabatelli & Pearce, 1986), (Sullivan & Schwebel, 1995), ( ) (Russell, 1997) Baldwin, / (Baldwin, 2005), (McNulty & Karney, 2004) Hall (2006), Yoder, (synthesized feminist identity) (Yoder, Perry, & Saal, 2007) Rhoden (Rhoden, 2003),, (Bonds-Raacke, Bearden, Carriere, Anderson, & Nicks, 2001),, (Knobloch- Fedders & Knudson, 2009) (self-assessment) (Fletcher et al., 2000), Campbell, (Campbell, Simpson, Kashy, & Fletcher, 2001), 4.2 家庭因素,, (Shulman, Rosenheim, & Knafo, 1999) (negative perception)

4 7 : 1101 (Steinberg, Davila, & Fincham, 2006) (Marquardt, 2005) (commitment) (Conway, Christensen, & Herlihy, 2003) Ellison,,, (Ellison, Burdette & Glenn, 2010) 4.3 社会因素 ,, (Botkin et al., 2000) 50 15,, (, 2000;,,,, 2003), (Crissey, 2005), (Epstein et al., 2005), 3 (Delevi & Bugay, 2010), Baker,, (Baker, Sanchez, Nock, & Wright, 2009),, (Ellison et al., 2010),,, (Segrin & Nabi, 2002) 5 婚姻期待与婚姻质量 ( ),, (McNulty & Fisher, 2008) 5.1 婚姻期待满足对婚姻质量的影响, (marital expectation violation) (Hackel & Ruble, 1992; Ruvolo & Veroff, 1997),, (Lee, 2008), - (Fletcher et al., 2000; Simpson & Fletcher, 2002) Beachkofsky,,, (Beachkofsky, 2010) Seiger Wiese

5 ,,,, (Seiger & Wiese, 2011) (Khazan, McHale, & Decourcey, 2008), 5.2 婚姻期待满足与婚姻质量评价之间的调节因素 Hackel Ruble,,,, (Hackel & Ruble, 1992) Campbell (Campbell et al., 2001) (Lawrence, Nylen, & Cobb, 2007), Hassebrauck (Hassebrauck & Aron, 2001) Guerrero Bachman (serious committed romantic relationship),, (Guerrero & Bachman, 2010) McNulty, ( ), (McNulty & Karney, 2004), (empathic listening) (Ahmad & Reid, 2008) Kirby, (Kirby, Baucom, & Peterman, 2005), (supportive behavior) (Wunderer & Schneewind, 2008) ( ), (Bachman & Guerrero, 2006; Guerrero & Bachman, 2010),, (Noordewier & Stapel, 2010) 5.3 婚姻期待受挫及应对研究 (Expectancy Violation Theory), (Burgoon & Hubbard, 2005), Fletcher Simpson (1), (2), (3), (4) (Fletcher et al., 2000) Alexander, (Alexander, 2008), Fletcher, Hackel,,,, (Hackel & Ruble, 1992) Neff Karney 82

6 7 : 1103 (Neff & Karney, 2003),,, ,, (Miller, Niehuis, & Huston, 2006) 3 (Murray et al., 2011), Overall 2006,, (Overall, Fletcher, & Simpson, 2006) Hira Overall,,,, Ruvolo, (Ruvolo & Ruvolo, 2000), (Hira & Overall, 2010),, (, 2008), Doss Christensen (2006),,, (accept) (The Frequency and Acceptability of Partner Behavior Inventory),,, Fletcher Simpson, (South, Doss, & Christensen, 2010),, 6 婚姻期待之配偶期待研究,,, ( ),, (agreeableness) (Bryan, Webster, & Mahaffey, 2011) Fletcher Simpson - -,,, - (Fletcher, Tither, O Loughlin, Friesen, & Overall, 2004) Figueredo (Figueredo, Sefceka, & Jones, 2006), (kind) (nondominant), Lukaszewski Roney,,, (Lukaszewski & Roney, 2010) Wilson (compatibility quotient),

7 ,, (Wilson & Cousins, 2003) Figueredo (mate value) (Figueredo et al., 2006) ( 2009) Berald 137 (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2007), (provider), (homemaker), (Eagly, Eastwick, & Johannesen- Schmidt, 2009),,, ( ), 2000, (, 2000) 2003,, ( ), (, 2003) (2004),, (2005),,, (2006),,,,, 7 述评与展望, (Epstein et al., 2005), (Delevi & Bugay, 2010; Netting, 2010; Kim, 2010),, (idealization),,,,,,,,,,, Dunn ,,, (1),,,,,,,,, ( )

8 7 : 1105,,,,,, (, 2004),, (2005),,,,,, (2),,, ( ),,,,, (Russell, 1997; Baldwin, 2005), (Conway et al., 2003),,,, (3) Fletcher Simpson ( ) ( ), ( ),,,,,,,,,,,, (, ) (, ), (letting go) (Brubacher, 2006),, (spiritual therapy) (Bhatnagar, 2011),,

9 (4),,, - (the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model, APIM), (Kenny, Kashy, & Cook, 2006),,, APIM (Stroud, Durbin, Saigal, & Knobloch-Fedders, 2010;,,, 2009; Luo & Klohnen, 2005) (Kenny & Acitelli, 2001) (Oriña, Wood, & Simpson, 2002) 风笑天. (2006). 城市在职青年的婚姻期望与婚姻实践. 青年研究, (2), 乐国安, 陈浩, 张彦彦. (2005). 进化心理学择偶心理机制假设的跨文化检验以天津 Boston 两地征婚启事的内容分析为例. 心理学报, 37, 李灵. (2004). 论家庭治疗在中国的文化适应性从传统家庭文化的转变看家庭治疗在中国的应用. 教育科学, 20(2), 刘勤学, 方晓义, 池培莲. (2009). 夫妻关系标准及发展趋势. 中国临床心理学杂志, 17, 钱铭怡, 王易平, 章晓云, 朱松. (2003). 十五年来中国女性择偶标准的变化. 北京大学学报 ( 哲学社会科学版 ), 40, 徐安琪. (2000). 择偶标准 : 五十年变迁及其原因分析. 社会学研究, (6), 徐安琪. (2005). 夫妻权力和妇女家庭地位的评价指标 : 反思与检讨. 社会学研究, (4), 殷雷. (2004). 当代都市女性择偶心理的调查研究. 心理科学, 27, 张锦涛, 方晓义, 戴丽琼. (2009). 夫妻沟通模式与婚姻质量的关系. 心理发展与教育, 23, 张小红. (2008). 基于理想标准的伴侣调控与接受对关系满意度的影响. 硕士学位论文, 西南大学. Ahmad, S., & Reid, D. W. (2008). Relationship satisfaction among South Asian Canadians: The role of Complementary-Equality and listening to understand. Interpersona, 2(2), Alexander, A. L. (2008). Relationship resources for coping with unfulfilled standards in dating relationships: Commitment, satisfaction, and closeness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, Bachman, G. F., & Guerrero, L. K. (2006). Relational quality and communicative responses following hurtful events in dating relationships: An expectancy violations analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23, Baker, E. H., Sanchez, L. A., Nock, S. L., & Wright, J. D. (2009). Covenant marriage and the sanctification of gendered marital roles. Journal of Family Issues, 30, Baldwin, M. W. (Ed.). (2005). Interpersonal cognition (pp ). US: Guilford Press. Barelds, D. P. H., & Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2007). Love at first sight or friends first? Ties among partner personality trait similarity, relationship onset, relationship quality, and love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24, Beachkofsky, A. L. (2010). Marital satisfaction: Ideal versus real mate. Dissertation Abstracts International: The Sciences and Engineering, 70(9-B). Bhatnagar, P. (2011). Letting go off the control and avoidance of pain with mindfulness and acceptance. Psychological Studies, 56, Bonds-Raacke, J. M., Bearden, E. S., Carriere, N. J., Anderson, E. M., & Nicks, S. D. (2001). Engaging distortions: Are we idealizing marriage? The Journal of Psychology, 135(2), Botkin, D. R., Weeks, M. O., & Morris, J. E. (2000). Changing marriage role expectations: Sex Roles, 42, Brubacher, L. (2006). Integrating emotion-focused therapy with the Satir model. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 32, Bryan, A. D., Webster, G. D., & Mahaffey, A. L. (2011). The big, the rich, and the powerful: Physical, financial, and

10 7 : 1107 social dimensions of dominance in mating and attraction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, Burgoon, J. K., & Hubbard, A. S. (2005). Cross-cultural and intercultural applications of expectancy violations theory and interaction adaptation theory. In W. B. Gudykunst (Ed.), Theorizing about intercultural communication (pp ). CA: Sage. Campbell, L., Simpson, J. A., Kashy, D. A., & Fletcher, G. J. O., (2001). Ideal standards, the self, and flexibility of ideals in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, Cherlin, A. J. (2009). The marriage-go-round: The state of marriage and the family in America today. NY: Alfred A. Knopf. Conway M. B., Christensen T. M., & Herlihy, B. (2003). Adult children of divorce and intimate relationships: Implications for counseling. The Family Journal, 11, Crissey, S. R. (2005). Race/Ethnic differences in the marital expectations of adolescents: The role of romantic relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, Delevi, R., & Bugay, A. (2010). Understanding change in romantic relationship expectations of international female students from Turkey. Contemporary Family Therapy, 3, Doss, B. D., & Christensen, A. (2006). Acceptance in romantic relationships: The frequency and acceptability of partner behavior inventory. Psychological Assessment, 18, Dunn, M. S. (1960). Marriage role expectations of adolescents. Marriage and Family Living, 22, Eagly, A. H., Eastwick, P. W., & Johannesen-Schmidt, M. (2009). Possible selves in marital roles: The impact of the anticipated division of labor on the mate preferences of women and men. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, Ellison, C. G., Burdette, A. M., & Glenn, N. D. (2010). Praying for Mr. right? Religion, family background, and marital expectations among college women. Journal of Family Issues, 32, Epstein, N. B., Baucom, D. H., & LaTaillade, J. L. (2006). Marital problems. In J. E. Fisher & W. T. O Donohue (Eds.), Practitioner s guide to evidence-based psychotherapy. New York: Springer. Epstein, N. B., Chen, F. G., & Beyder-Kamjou, I. (2005). Relationship standards and marital satisfaction in Chinese and American couples. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, Figueredo, A. J., Sefceka, J. A., & Jones, D. N. (2006). The ideal romantic partner personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 41, Fletcher, G. J. O., Simpson, J. A., & Thomas, G. (2000). Ideals, perceptions, and evaluations in early relationship development. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, Fletcher, G. J. O., Tither, J. M., O Loughlin, C., Friesen, M., & Overall, N. (2004). Warm and homely or cold and beautiful? Sex differences in trading off traits in mate selection. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, Foran, H. M., & Slep, A. M. S. (2007). Validation of a self-report measure of unrealistic relationship expectations. Psychological Assessment, 19, Guerrero, L. K., & Bachman, G. F. (2010). Forgiveness and forgiving communication in dating relationships: An expectancy-investment explanation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27, Hackel, L. S., & Ruble, D. N. (1992). Changes in the marital relationship after the first baby is born: Predicting the impact of expectancy disconfirmation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 62, Hall, S. S. (2006). Marital meaning: Exploring young adults belief systems about marriage. Journal of Family Issues, 27, Hassebrauck, M., & Aron, A. (2001). Prototype matching in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, Hira, S. N., & Overall, N. C. (2010). Improving intimate relationships: Target the partner versus changing the self. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, Jacob, T., Kornblith, S., Anderson, C., & Hartz, M. (1978). Role expectation and role performance in distressed and normal couples. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87, Juvva, S., & Bhatti, R. S. (2006). Epigenetic model of marital expectations. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 28, Kenny, D. A., & Acitelli, L. K. (2001). Accuracy and bias in the perception of the partner in a close relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, Kenny, D. A., Kashy, D. A., & Cook, W. L. (2006). Dyadic data analysis. New York: Guilford Press. Khazan, I., McHale, J. P., & Decourcey, W. (2008). Violated wishes about division of childcare labor predict early coparenting process during stressful and nonstressful family evaluations. Infant Mental Health Journal, 29,

11 Kim, H. (2010). Exploratory study on the factors affecting marital satisfaction among remarried Korean couples. The Journal of Contemporary Social Services, 91, Kirby, J. S., Baucom, D. H., & Peterman, M. A. (2005). An investigation of unmet intimacy needs in marital relationships. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, Knobloch-Fedders, L. M., & Knudson, R. M. (2009). Marital ideals of the newly-married: A longitudinal analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26, Lawrence, E., Nylen, K., & Cobb, R. J. (2007). Prenatal expectations and marital satisfaction over the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 21, Lee, KiPyong. (2008). The effect of husband s participation in household work on wife s marital satisfaction: Introducing the concept of the expectation sufficiency. Japanese Journal of Family Sociology, 20, Lukaszewski, A. W., & Roney, J. R. (2010). Kind toward whom? Mate preferences for personality traits are target specific. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31, Luo, S. H., & Klohnen, E. C. (2005). Assortative mating and marital quality in newlyweds: A couple-centered approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, Marquardt, E. (Ed.). (2005). Between two worlds: The inner lives of children of divorce. NY: Crown. McNulty, J. K., & Fisher, T. D. (2008). Gender differences in response to sexual expectancies and changes in sexual frequency: A short-term longitudinal study of sexual satisfaction in newly married couples. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 37, McNulty, J. K., & Karney, B. R. (2004). Positive expectations in the early years of marriage: Should couples expect the best or brace for the worst? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86, Miller, P. J. E., Niehuis, S., & Huston, T. L. (2006). Positive illusions in marital relationships: A 13-year longitudinal study. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, Murray, S. L., Griffin, D. W., Derrick, J. L., Harris, B., Aloni, M., & Leder, S. (2011). Tempting fate or inviting happiness? Unrealistic idealization prevents the decline of marital satisfaction. Psychological Science, 5, Neff, L. A., & Karney, B. R. (2003). The dynamic structure of relationship perceptions: Differential importance as a strategy of relationship maintenance. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, Netting, N. S. (2010). Marital ideoscapes in 21st-century India: Creative combinations of love and responsibility. Journal of Family Issues, 31, Noordewier, M. K., & Stapel, D. A. (2010). Affects of the unexpected: When inconsistency feels good (or bad). Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36, O Leary, J. S. (2000). College students role expectation in marriage. Dissertation Abstract International: Section B, 60(10 B). Oriña, M. M., Wood, W., & Simpson, J. A. (2002). Strategies of influence in close relationships. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 38, Overall, N. C., Fletcher, G. J. O., & Simpson, J. A. (2006). Regulation processes in intimate relationships: The role of ideal standards. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, Rhoden, J. L. (2003). Marital cohesion, flexibility, and communication in the marriages of nontraditional and traditional women. The Family Journal, 11, Russell, M. R. (1997). Specific and generalized expectancies, individual attachment, and marital satisfaction: An initial investigation. Dissertation Abstracts International, 57(8-B), Ruvolo, A. P., & Ruvolo, C. M. (2000). Creating Mr. Right and Ms. Right: Interpersonal ideals and personal change in newlyweds. Personal Relationships, 7, Ruvolo, A. P., & Veroff, J. (1997). For better or for worse: Real-ideal discrepancies and the marital well-being of newlyweds. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 14, Sabatelli, R. M., & Pearce, J. (1986). Exploring marital expectations. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 3, Sandhya, S. (2009). The social context of marital happiness in urban Indian couples: Interplay of intimacy and conflict. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 35, Segrin, C., & Nabi, R. L. (2002). Does television viewing cultivate unrealistic expectations about marriage? Journal of Communication, 52, Seiger, C. P., & Wiese, B. S. (2011). Social support, unfulfilled expectations, and affective well-being on return to employment. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73, Shulman, S., Rosenheim, E., & Knafo, D. (1999). The interface of adolescent and parent marital expectations. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 27, Simpson, J. A., & Fletcher, G. J. (2002). Chapter 4: The structure and function of ideal standard in close relationships. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (86 98). UK: Wiley-Blackwell. South, S. C., Doss, B. D., & Christensen, A. (2010). Through

12 7 : 1109 the eyes of the beholder: The mediating role of relationship acceptance in the impact of partner behavior. Family Relations, 59, Steinberg, S. J., Davila, J., & Fincham, F. (2006). Adolescent marital expectations and romantic experiences: Associations with perceptions about parental conflict and adolescent attachment security. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35, Stroud, C. B., Durbin, C. E., Saigal, S. D., & Knobloch-Fedders L. M. (2010). Normal and abnormal personality traits are associated with marital satisfaction for both men and women: An actor-partner interdependence model analysis. Journal of Research in Personality, 44, Sullivan, B. F., & Schwebel, A. I. (1995). Relationship beliefs and expectations of satisfaction in marital relationships: Implication for family practitioners. The family Journal, 3, Wilson, G. D., & Cousins, J. M. (2003). Partner similarity and relationship satisfaction: Development of a compatibility quotient. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 18, Wunderer, E., & Schneewind, K. A. (2008). The relationship between marital standards, dyadic coping and marital satisfaction. European Journal of Social Psychology, 38, Yoder, J. D., Perry, R. L., & Saal, E. I. (2007). What good is a feminist identity? Women s feminist identification and role expectations for intimate and sexual relationships. Sex Roles, 57, Be Satisfied and Happy: Review and Prospect of Marital Expectation WU Bo; HUANG Xi-Ting (School of Psychology, Southwest University, Chongqing , China) Abstract: Marital Expectation is a serial of standards that individuals realistically expect from their marriage, which people believe are capable to be met. Many factors including gender, age, attachment, parents marital expectations and cultural background exert influence on the development of marital expectation. Marital expectation violation is found to be significantly related to people s marital satisfaction. People cope with marital expectation violation in ways such as partner regulation and ideal distortion. Further researches including the development of innovative measure instrument in Chinese background, investigations in family factors and other coping ways in which people deal with marital expectation violation, as well as couple matching of marital expectations are still needed. Key words: marital expectation; expectation violation; mate preference; marital quality; marital satisfaction

1988 Demo & Acock 1988 Demo & Acock Richard & Cynthia % 1996 Feigelman

(Madonna) (Nicole Kidman) (Meg Ryan) (Angelina Jolie) 25 30 2006 2006 1 1988 Demo & Acock 1988 Demo & Acock Richard & Cynthia 1993 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 1995 60 33% 1996 Feigelman 2001 2 Fergusson, Lynskey, &