Issue No.15 Mar 2004 OFFICIAL LANGUAGES DIVISION, CIVIL SERVICE BUREAU Carefully Conceived, Deftly Delivered Mrs Anson Chan on Speech Writing When Mrs Anson Chan retired in April 2001, she took home as souvenir copies of all the speeches she had made as Chief Secretary for Administration a total of 14 volumes. Since retirement, she has been invited from time to time to address different gatherings. It was really a great honour to have Mrs Chan share with members of the Official Languages Officer grade her valuable experience and expertise in speech writing on 17 February 2004. The talk was most interesting and inspiring, captivating the audience until the very end. Speaking with admirable grace and eloquence, Mrs Chan took us through the art of speech writing and delivery. The following summary of her talk clearly reflects her mastery of the skill. Carefully conceived Speech writing, like a lot of things, improves with practice. Speeches, meant for oral delivery, have three cardinal objectives: to instruct, to inspire and stimulate, and to advocate. To instruct, or to get the message across, one must believe in what one is saying. Most importantly, one should speak from the heart. When writing a substantive speech, one must address the subject squarely in a convincing manner. The content should be substantial in addressing the main concerns of the audience. Substance and style of a speech are equally important as the speaker cannot hope to get the message across fully and vividly or make a deep impression on the people without using the right language and style. To inspire and stimulate the audience, the speaker should use language, such as sensory words and images, that will appeal to the audience. Two outstanding masters of the use of sensory language are General Douglas MacArthur and Winston Churchill. For the audience to understand and hopefully be convinced of what one advocates, simple language, short sentences, and a natural and conversational style should invariably be used. Moreover, one should not use a dozen words when a few words will do the job. A good speech should be kept short, pungent and concise. Grammar is also very important. When in doubt, one should not hesitate to consult others or read up. One way to capture the audience s attention is by using wit and humour. However, jokes must be relevant and short to be effective. A long-winded joke will result in the punch line missing its mark with the audience. In terms of structure, the beginning of a speech is certainly important, but the end is even more important. The beginning is the first opportunity for the speaker to capture the interest of the audience, yet when the audience leave, usually they remember the last words said rather than the first words, particularly for a long speech. The ending of a speech can simply be a summary of the main points. However, short and relevant quotations can also be very effective endings. In her valedictory speech to the Asia Society as Chief Secretary in April 2001, Mrs Chan chose a quotation from Tennyson s Ulysses to conclude. In a few lines, she succeeded in summarising her 40 years of service in the Hong Kong Government and gave a very pithy account of what she had learnt and how her character had been moulded. In fact, to conclude with an apt quotation is likely to make people remember one s speech, at least the conclusion, if not its entirety. So, one should gather 1
these gems of wisdom whenever they come one s way. A good text does not come about without hard work. All good speeches need to be edited and polished. Mark Twain once said, It takes me three weeks to make an impromptu speech. The first draft is very often off the top of one s head. Ideally, one should allow a coolingoff period of one or two days before looking at the draft again. Flaws in the draft, such as long words and disjointed sentences, will become more apparent. That is the time to do the editing and polishing. Deftly delivered Speeches are like babies, very easy to conceive but very hard to deliver. To help with the delivery, the speaker can rely on either a verbatim script or speaking notes, or can simply memorise the text. If one is addressing a large audience on a formal occasion, every single word is important. It is therefore always good to have a prepared text to help get the message across. In fact, except for very light occasions, Churchill almost never spoke off the cuff. As for speaking from memory, unless one has a photographic memory, the need to concentrate on regurgitating the text may detract from one s delivery of the speech. The best tactic is to use the approach that one feels most comfortable with or that gives one most confidence. Practice is essential in order not to let people feel the speaker is not fully prepared. When speaking, one should not keep looking down at the text every single moment. To get the message effectively across, it is vital for the speaker to have frequent eye contact with the audience. When it is necessary to read a text, the trick to maintaining interest is to make it sound as if one was not reading from a prepared text. In oral delivery, one does not have the benefit of the use of capital letters, bold types or underlines to emphasise a particular point. So, one should never read a speech in a monotone but should vary the voice, have different pace of speaking and make the right pause. In sum, if one is true to oneself and one s conviction, if one is honest and speaks from the heart, if one has a good grasp of the language and puts in hard work doing the editing and polishing, one will have no difficulty in turning out a decent speech. True or False? WAR IS PEACE FREEDOM IS SLAVERY IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH (1984, George Orwell) George Orwell (1903-50), English novelist and essayist, is noted for his satirical novels Animal Farm (1945) and 1984 (1949). In 1984, he depicts life in Oceania, an authoritarian state under the control of the Party. Quoted above are the three slogans of the Party, which establishes its absolute authority by annihilation of human nature. Each of the three slogans contains two contradictory ideas. It is virtually illogical. If the first part of it is true, the latter part can hardly be. Such a rhetorical device is called paradox. Nonsensical a paradox may appear, however, one can often find some truth in it. War is Peace may reflect the reality that in the old days, disputes tended to end in wars, which in turn brought peace. Freedom is Slavery can be taken to mean that when you are totally free, you may become the slave of your unbridled desires. Ignorance is Strength can be construed as a secret of success since being ignorant will sometimes be the best way of surviving. Of course, what exactly the three paradoxical slogans mean is open to interpretation. We may come across such paradoxes in daily conversation as well. For example, Paul is always such a happy man. To him, heaven is a place on earth. Sometimes, paradox can be used to create a comic effect: The more you earn, the more you spend. The more you spend, the less you save. The less you save, the less you keep. So, what s the point in working hard to earn? Another example of paradox less is more enjoys a high profile in the mass media. It is a favourite in newspaper and journal headlines, and is used to cover a wide range of topics from trimming the overstuffed school curriculum to the beauty of classically simple interior design. Putting it the other way round, Barry Schwartz, a renowned psychologist, named his new book The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. In it he aptly points out that consumers jaded by too much choice today are now looking for ways to reduce the time spent figuring out what to buy. A clever twist, isn t it? 2
Hamlet To be or not to be To be King James George Orwell Aldous HuxleyWilliam Faulkner 3
To Dump a Pun, or Recreate the Fun? The PUN is among the most widely used of rhetorical devices. It appears in a whole range of writings, from such stylised texts as Ulysses, through children s literature such as Alice s Adventures in Wonderland, to more general texts, such as newspaper articles and, in particular, headlines. I once came across an editorial on cross-strait relations, which began as follows: The word play on,, and is very interesting to Chinese readers, in particular Putonghua speakers. Unfortunately, if poetry is what gets lost in translation, the prospect for puns is even less promising. Here is the translation supplied by the same newspaper the following day: Tang Shubei...Chiao Jen-ho...Some had feared that the talks would be fuming like a cauldron of burning Jiaotang (caramel), but they turned out to be as sweet as a pot of Tangjiao (syrup). I am totally sympathetic with the anonymous translator who was probably overworked and underpaid. Considering the tight deadlines faced by news translators, I would have had no objection to a free translation completely omitting the pun. Even a word-for-word semantic translation supplemented by some explanation, such as chiao-tang is homonymous to the Chinese term for burnt caramel, would have been more acceptable. What I find baffling is that the translator should have opted for transcription, without any elaboration of the context, and thus produced a Dr Elsie Chan City University of Hong Kong nonsensical mis-representation for the general reader. Similarly, the translator seems to take for granted that English readers know that Chiao (Wade-Giles) converts directly into Jiao (Hanyu Pinyin), thus linking the two names, which is absurd. The puns in question are undeniably difficult to translate, and there is no standard way of translation. However, after some deliberation, I have come up with a couple of suggestions for recreating the word play: (1) Some had feared that Tang and his counterpart might tangle with each other and wouldn t give way, but it turned out that they tangoed all the way. (2) Some had feared that the two parties would exchange fire (or hit the roof/hit out at each other/ part company). Instead they got on like a house on fire (or hit it off together/went into partnership). It is unwise to stick to the original wording in such a passage, since information and efficient communication are more important than source-text identity for the editorial of a middlebrow newspaper. The average newspaper reader in English should be able to appreciate that it takes two to tango, and alliteration, rhyming and phrasal verbs should appeal to them as familiar features in journalistic discourse. Of course, any suggested translation is for reference only as there is no model answer for any source text, and I would welcome more suggestions from readers of this article. Excerpted from Dr Elsie Chan s article under the same title. Dr Chan is currently Lecturer with the Division of Language Studies at the City University of Hong Kong. 4
5 clone
Issue No. 14 Not-a-Mindboggler Answers Bacchus Diana Mercury Cupid Muses Minotaur Icarus Vulcan Penelope Narcissus Nemesis Centaur Styx Ulysses Priam Iris Sisyphus Prometheus The winners are: Name Department Wun Siu Lun, Douglas Leisure and Cultural Services Department Lam See Wing, Christina Television and Entertainment Licensing Authority Tang Yuk Tong, Peggy Civil Aviation Department Chan Tak Shing Hong Kong Police Force Chan Chun Tung Hong Kong Police Force They will be notified individually by post. 6
1914 1946-72 * * 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 23 2315 7
nephrite jadeite 31 22 * + * + Honorary Adviser Dr Hong Po-man Honorary Adviser Mr Tony Miller Editorial Board Chairman Miss Li Yuen-lee Member Mr James Ho Member Miss Violet Cheung Member Mrs Helen Pang Member Mrs Pamela Lai Executive Editor Miss Holly Lo Member Mrs Stella Mui Member Mr Cheng Kin-wah Assistant Editor Miss Catherine Lau http://www.csb.gov.hk/hkgcsb/ol/news/index.htm 66 2315 csbolrs@csb.gov.hk The contents of Word Power are also available on the OLD, CSB Homepage at http://www.csb.gov.hk/hkgcsb/ol/news/index.htm. For enquiries, please contact us at the Official Languages Division, Civil Service Bureau, Room 2315, Queensway Government Offices, 66 Queensway, Hong Kong. E-mail: csbolrs@csb.gov.hk 8