Studying Abroad

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1 Studying Abroad With the development of modern society, students in increasing number can study abroad. Even, some students are preparing to abroad when they are at junior school. There is no denying that studying abroad has a variety of benefits. First and foremost, students can advance their knowledge which can not learn at native. In addition, they can enhance their horizon. Last but not least, studying in a foreign country can develop their ability of independent. As far as I am concerned, studying abroad is a two-edged sword. There is also having a variety of harmful as studying abroad at present. Such as living in a new environment is not an easy thing for most students and they are still many family can not offer the cost of living abroad. In total, only when all things ready not only knowledge but also finance to study abroad will be a good thing. 评分 :10 With the development of modern society, students in increasing number can study abroad. Even, some students are preparing to abroad when they are at junior school. 批注 [ 微软中国 1]: go abroad There is no denying that studying abroad has a variety of benefits. First and foremost, students can advance their knowledge which can not learn at native. In addition, they can enhance their 批注 [ 微软中国 2]: be learned 批注 [ 微软中国 3]: native universities

2 horizon. Last but not least, studying in a foreign country can develop their ability of independent. 批注 [ 微软中国 4]: independence As far as I am concerned, studying abroad is a two-edged sword. There is also having a variety of harmful as studying abroad at present. Such as living in a new environment is not an easy thing for most students and they are still many family can not offer the cost of living abroad. In total, only when all things ready not only knowledge but also finance to study abroad will be a good thing. 点评 : 文章总体很好, 但是小错误多了些, 尤其是批注 5 和 8 要注意另外多看些提高水平的书, 建议看看新概念 4 批注 [ 微软中国 5]: 这个重大错误的病句 There be 句型不能和 have 连用, 修改如下 :which has a variety of harms at present, 批注 [ 微软中国 6]: For example, such as 一般跟名词和名词词组批注 [ 微软中国 7]: 删掉批注 [ 微软中国 8]: 此句构思很好, 但是有问题, 修改如下 :only when all things are ready not only in knowledge but also in finance, will studying abroad be a good thing. 此句得倒装 Not when will 主语

3 Studying Abroad With the development of ecnomy in China a lot of Chinese students choose to study aboad like U.S.A, Japan and so on which proves that many people have enough money to enjoy high-education. The other reason is they have learned their knowledge is little for the word is becoming smaller and smaller. It is good choice to study aboad because it enriching students knowledge, enhancing their insight and making they learn another languge. The second, studying abroad may make people bring new technolege and methods which could use in our companies. The last one, they may get good spirit like advanture in USA and working hard in Japanese. In one word, there many advantages to study aboad. In my opinon, I think I will study abroad if I get such chance. I want to go to U.S.A and the reason is there is good technolege of medcine. That is to say, study abroad if you can, you will get a lot. 评分 :9 Studying Abroad With the development of ecnomy in China a lot of Chinese students choose to study aboad like U.S.A, Japan and so on which 批注 [ 番茄花园 1]: 拼写错误批注 [ 番茄花园 2]: 加逗号批注 [ 番茄花园 3]: 拼写错误批注 [ 番茄花园 4]: Which 前加逗号, 因为此句为非限定性定语从句, 且作用于前面的整个内容

4 proves that many people have enough money to enjoy high-education. The other reason is they have learned their knowledge is little for the word is becoming smaller and smaller. It is good choice to study aboad because it enriching students knowledge, enhancing their insight and making they learn another 批注 [ 番茄花园 5]: 此句不明白要表达什么意思批注 [ 番茄花园 6]: a good 批注 [ 番茄花园 7]: 拼写错误 languge. The second, studying abroad may make people bring new technolege and methods which could use in our companies. The last one, they may get good spirit like advanture in USA and working hard in Japanese. In one word, there many advantages to study aboad. In my opinon, I think I will study abroad if I get such chance. I want to go to U.S.A and the reason is there is good technolege of medcine. That is to say, study abroad if you can, you will get a lot. 点评 : 建议从基础性的语法练习入手, 通过大量的阅读, 在不断积累和练习中, 尽快提高自己的写作能力批注 [ 番茄花园 8]: 用语不规范, 修改建议 :It is a good choice to study abroad, which can enrich the students knowledge, widen their horizons and improve their spoken foreign language. Besides that, the students studying abroad can learn both modern science and technology, which will contribute to the development of our country. 批注 [ 番茄花园 9]: 修改示范 :In my opinion, it has advantages and disadvantages to study abroad. If you make good ready to study abroad, including money ability language knowledge, you can go to. But it is not necessary. If you don t get ready, you can study in your country. It is also very well. If only we study hard, we can achieve our goals. It is not depending on where you are, but how hard you have done.

5 Studing Abroad There is no denying the fact that increasingly number of chinese students to go abroad and syudy.it has been became a hotly debated topic in recently years.in this circumenstans,these students studing abroad for the sake of acheiving their long-sighted goals.it can be demonstrated that the individuals have a big ambitious for their study and career in the future. Obviously,studing abroad has a number of advantages.in the first place,these students can have access to advanced science and technologe as well as desirrable working condition which might not be available at home. In the second place,they gain a capabilty to entirly advanced ideas and trands.last but not least,by syuding and living in a foreign country,in a limited time one can improve his foreign language much faster than at home.nevertheless,as ever coins has two sides, studing abroad also confrons one with a series of hardships. From my point of veiw,the advantages of studing abroad outweigh its disadvantages.so it is big decision to go abroad to study and people shoud take into consideration their financial conditions and his ability to adapt to new sorrounding.personally,if I were choose to go abroad and study,i

6 would find it necessary. 评分 :11 批注 [J1]: Studying 批注 [J2]: Increasingly 是副词, 此处应使用形容词形式 ; 一些 a number of.. 前面的冠词一般不去掉, 修改为 : an increasing number of 批注 [J3]: Chinese Studing Abroad There is no denying the fact that increasingly number of chinese students to go abroad and syudy.it has been became a hotly debated topic in recently years.in this circumenstans,these students studing abroad for the sake of acheiving their long-sighted goals.it can be demonstrated that the individuals have a big ambitious for their study and career in the future. Obviously,studing abroad has a number of advantages.in the first place,these students can have access to advanced science and technologe as well as desirrable working condition which might not be available at home. In the second place,they gain a capabilty to entirly advanced ideas and trands.last but not least,by syuding and living in a foreign country,in a limited time one can improve his foreign language much faster than at home.nevertheless,as ever coins has two sides, studing abroad also confrons one with a series of hardships. From my point of veiw,the advantages of studing abroad 批注 [J4]: 删掉 to, 在此句中, students 做了同位语从句中的主语, 后直接跟谓语动词 go, 而不可接动词不定式批注 [J5]: study 批注 [J6]: 首先, 现在完成时的被动语态是 have(has)+been+ 过去分词 ; 其次, 根据句意, 此处不必用被动语态, 修改建议 :has become 批注 [J7]: 问题同批注 2, 形容词用来限定或修饰名词, 而副词不可此处 recently 是副词, 应改为 recent 批注 [J8]: 不明白要说什么, 拼写错误批注 [J9]: 如用现在进行时 be+doing sth., 而根据句意, 此处应该用一般现在时或现在完成时, 所以此处应改为 :have studied 批注 [J10]: achieving 批注 [J11]: ambitious 是形容词, 此处应改为 ambition 批注 [J12]: studying 批注 [J13]: technology 批注 [J14]: desirable 批注 [J15]: capability 批注 [J16]: 不明白意思批注 [J17]: studying 批注 [J18]: 习惯上前面加逗号批注 [J19]: studying 批注 [J20]: confronts 批注 [J21]: studying

7 outweigh its disadvantages.so it is big decision to go abroad to study and people shoud take into consideration their financial conditions and his ability to adapt to new sorrounding.personally,if I were choose to go abroad and study,i would find it necessary. 点评 : 观点和文意其实很好但请注意存在一定拼写和语法错误, 影批注 [J22]: should 批注 [J23]: 注意逻辑上主语的单复数应前后一致批注 [J24]: 作为环境讲, 常用复数 surroundings 批注 [J25]: 在虚拟条件状语从句中, 与现在事实相反从句的谓语用动词过去式或 were, 主句的谓语用 would(should) + 动词原形. 此处应改为 chose 响了你的得分请今后再接再厉, 再创佳绩

8 Studying abroad Nobody could have failed to notice the fact that there are a increasing number of Chinese students studying abroad. A variety of reasons are responsible for this phenomenon. I argue the main one is that China is increasingly strong and it has been accepted by the world. There is no denying the fact that we benefit much from studying abroad. First and foremost, we gain an opportunity to know a different country s custom and people. Besides,we are taught in a new educational model. Last but not the least,we can make friends with foreigners. Personly, I think studing abroad should be viewed as a two-edged sword,which presents us with both benefits and troubles. It do make students learn wide knowledge either in study or in life.but on the other hand,studying abroad means lonely and sorrow every time Chinese traditional festivals come. 评分 :11 Nobody could have failed to notice the fact that there are a increasing number of Chinese students studying abroad. A variety of reasons are responsible for this phenomenon. I argue the main one is that China is increasingly strong and it has been accepted by the world. There is no denying the fact that we benefit much from studying abroad. First and foremost, we gain an opportunity to know a different country s custom and people. Besides,we are taught in a new educational model. Last but not the least,we can make friends with foreigners. Personally, I think studying abroad should be viewed as a two-edged sword, which presents us with both benefits and troubles. It do make students learn wide knowledge either in study or in life.but on the other hand,studying abroad means lonely and sorrow every time Chinese traditional festivals come. 点评 : 文章写的很好, 思路很清晰, 说明你是个聪明的学生, 另外用词也很准确欠缺的是, 没有结尾段, 感觉没有说完建议加一句 The best policy is to maximize its advantages and minimize the unhealthy influence, so that studying abroad can benefit us in a better way. 批注 [H1]: an increasing number of Chinese students want to study abroad. 批注 [H2]: the Chinese 批注 [H3]: On the one hand, it 批注 [H4]: does 批注 [H5]: ; on 批注 [H6]: Studying abroad can give the people some trouble, for example, they can t adapt to the situation sometimes.

9 Studying Abroad There is no denying the fact that a dramatic number of Chinese studying abroad is increasing in recently years.taking a look around, we can find examples too numerous to list.in many places we can see lots of training school for studying abroad as well as more students around us having gone to study abroad. A number of factors could account for the above reason, but the following might be the most critical ones. In the first place, Chinese students can improve their foreign language much faster than at home. In the second place, a student can master advanced technology and science which might not be available at home. Last but not least, students can be exposed to new ideas and trends abroad. But just as a coin has two sides, studying abroad has its own drawbacks which shoud not be neglected. The different customs and habits is not easy to adapt.at the meantime financial burden is too heavy for young students. So, for my opinion, I suggest students should take serious into consideration for all the advantage and disvantage for studying abroad. Only done enough preparations, studying abroad is necessary. 评分 :11 Studying Abroad

10 There is no denying the fact that a dramatic number of Chinese studying abroad is increasing in recently years.taking a look around, we can find examples too numerous to list.in many places we can see lots of 批注 [ 番茄花园 1]: Recently 或 in recent years training school for studying abroad as well as more students around us having gone to study abroad. A number of factors could account for the above reason, but the following might be the most critical ones. In the first place, Chinese 批注 [ 番茄花园 2]: 根据句意, 此处应改为 phenomenon students can improve their foreign language much faster than at home. In the second place, a student can master advanced technology and science which might not be available at home. Last but not least, students can be exposed to new ideas and trends abroad. But just as a coin has two sides, studying abroad has its own drawbacks which shoud not be neglected. The different customs and habits is not easy to adapt.at the meantime financial burden is too heavy 批注 [ 番茄花园 3]: 此处为非限定性定语从句, 改为,which 批注 [ 番茄花园 4]: should for young students. So, for my opinion, I suggest students should take serious into consideration for all the advantage and disvantage for studying abroad. Only done enough preparations, studying abroad is necessary. 批注 [ 番茄花园 5]: 拼写错误批注 [ 番茄花园 6]: 根据之间关系, 此处应改为 of 批注 [ 番茄花园 7]: 此句未能表述清楚点评 : 条理清晰, 分析问题客观, 且有自己独到的见解.

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2009.05 2009 05 2009.05 2009.05 璆 2009.05 1 亿平方米 6 万套 10 名 20 亿元 5 个月 30 万亿 60 万平方米 Data 围观 CCDI 公司内刊企业版 P08 围观 CCDI 管理学上有句名言 : 做正确的事, 比正确地做事更重要方向的对错于大局的意义而言,